


About Flirty Skeletons and Bad Life Choices

by Barraz



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underlust, But they do talk about sex, But they're not all about sex, Dirty Jokes, Flirting, M/M, No Smut, Swap Papyrus is only mentioned, Underlust Papyrus - Freeform, Underlust Sans - Freeform, Underlust's involved, Underswap Sans, what were you expecting?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 18:10:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14574678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barraz/pseuds/Barraz
Summary: In which Blue meets Lavender (Lust) for the first time.And also some other plot stuff that I should probably mention.





	1. The Preview

So... Let's begin with the begining. (Ptssss, the story is in the next chapter this is just me explaining how this all came to be)

This idea came to life a buch of months ago when I got frustrated from the lack of fanfics with multiversal Papyruses gathering up. I mean, I get that the Sanses, maybe, probably, totallly, wouldn't tell them anything about the multiverse machine they have or stuff alike.

But think about it!

If they were to find out. Wouldn't they want to have meetings too!? 

\---  
So my story so far is that the spiritual papyruses listed below have been gathering around behind their brother's backs. Sort of.

Classictale Papyrus (Rus)

Underfell Papyrus (Edge)

Underswap Sans (Blueberry, or Blue for short)

Underlust Papyrus (Pink)

Swapfell Sans (Razzberry, usually called Razz)

And

Swapfell Papyrus (Slim)

Slim may not be a Papyrus in spirit but Razz doesn't trust him with the other lazy assses so he brings him along.

Pink is in the group because he's a sinnamonroll that deserves more non-sexual love in his life.

And because I will never have enough Underlust in my life.

\---

I finally decided to write at least one event because this one was too funny to keep from all the others in the fontcest bin with me.

I hope you like it.


	2. The Actual Story

''I'M NOT SURE IF THIS IS A GOOD IDEA''

When Pink said those words the first time, Blue had been sure that the flamboyant skeleton was simply questioning what was indeed not a good idea. Because, really, it wasn't.

This wasn't going to help Pink, or Blue, and it was definitely not going to help Stretch, who was pretty convinced that Pink was the core and cause of all things ''corruptive'' and hadn't taken it lightly when he found out that Blue had been ''manipulated'' by Pink to join in scandalous activities.

Never mind that they just shared a bed (because there weren't enough guest rooms for everyone), and talked (about totally not sexual things, at first), and cuddled (because Pink is a cuddle bug, and who would say no to friendly cuddles), and that during that week at Edge's Blue gained the right to say from first hand experience that Pink gives amazing blowjobs...

Ok, so the last one might fit the bill for scandalous. But neither one had planned for things to go there. In fact, if anything, Pink had been actively going out of his way to prevent such outcome; at the cost of suffering in silence while they spent a week in Underfell due to a malfunction with the machine that connected their universes. And when Blue found out, he took it upon himself to offer some help. Pink simply returned that help afterwards.

Because Blue never considered that giving Pink a handjob would leave him needing one.

But it didn't escalate beyond that.

They just helped each other with a problem. And then went to bed. No actual sex involved.

But Stretch didn't let him get to that part of the explanation. He just disappeared to his room, or to Muffet's, maybe even Waterfall. Blue didn't know. And he didn't linger long enough to find out.

Instead, he went straight to the back room and entered the code to Underlust.

He was sick of being babied by most people because they’d no doubt say yes if someone asked them if he was too innocent for this world. Or any other for that matter.

Although the skeleton currently giving him flirty looks would probably say no.

Is this the inevitable clash that Pink feared would scare Blue? Maybe.

Because he really can’t deiced whether he’s ok or not with the barely clothed Sans that’s been hitting on him relentlessly ever since he caught sight of him.

It’s like all the NSFW treatment he’s been missing on decided to catch up at once, using Lavender as the main weapon. And, stars above, Blue was not ready for this.

The words ''I'M NOT SURE IF THIS IS A GOOD IDEA'' echoed once more in his head. Taking a whole new meaning. Pink wasn't that worried about whatever brought Blueberry to Underlust. He was worried about whatever Underlust could have that’d make Blueberry leave.

Like Pink's brother. Who Blue had always known as Lavender (which was the nickname Pink used for him), despite the fact that the skeleton in question presented himself a Lust. Leaving Blue unsure about whether the other Sans was being serious or not. Something that he later realized, was quickly becoming is default state whenever he and Lavender interacted.

Like when Blue discovered, at the start of his second morning in Underlust, that Lavender and Pink were a couple. All because he accidentally walked into their private session of passionate kissing. Or head bumping. I mean, only one of them has lips, does that make it a kiss? Are skeleton kisses actual kisses or are they just misoriented head bumps?

Either way, Blue recognized immediately the intimacy of it and asked (shouted) why Pink never said anything about dating Lavender. Only to be corrected by a VERY flustered Lavender.

''the name of the game is brothers with benefits buddy'' He said, blushing with bashfulness and, was that smug? How can he be bashful AND smug at THE SAME TIME????

''And, just so you know, ours is an open relationship, in case you wanna join i- ''

A loud groan stopped Lavender’s words dead on their tracks. Pink was still beneath his brother but that seemed to be the least of his problems. He looked like he was getting tired of Lavender’s advances towards Blueberry. Lavender only crooked a bonebrow in response. 

''What?'' He chuckled ''Do I sound too cocky?''

Pink’s blush only deepened as he attempted to mask his new found fluster with anger.

''Sssaaaannnnnss'' he hissed throught his theeth, low enough for only Lavender to hear.

Lavender didn’t take the cue. Leaping instead into the attitude he reserved for comedy acts.

''Should’ve cum up with a better phrase'' He said, masterfully pretending he didn’t noticed that his brother looked like he’d start fuming like a boiling kettle pot at any moment.

''Welp, guess I’m bon- hufp!''

Lavender’s mouth might have been shut as he spoke but that didn’t keep Pink from trying to shut it some more. Good thing his voice was enough to fully prevent his brother’s talking.

''BROTHER! IF YOU SAY ANOTHER SEX RELATED THING BEFORE WE EAT, I SWEAR I’M GOING TO BURN YOUR TOYS SO STOP YOUR KINKY PLOTTING AND GO TO THE KITCHEN! YOU’VE ALREADY DELAYED MY PLANNED ROUTINE AND I’M GOING TO NEED EXTRA HELP IF I WANT MY MARVELOUS SCHEDULE TO SURVIVE PAST BREAKFAST!''

As Pink continued his nagging, Blue was once more trying to decipher if Lavender was serious about his words, while also wondering what kind of toys would someone like Lavender have and trying to assimilate that a classic Sans was going to cook.

It didn’t take long for Blue to find himself lost in a loop of internal what? that blocked out everything. Minus the fantasy fragments that popped up in his head involving a possible threesome with the flirtatious brothers.

Meanwhile, Lavender couldn’t pick who was making the funniest face. Be it his brother who was in deep inner conflict, if the ‘I secretly want you to keep going but I also want you to shut up’ face gave him any clues. Or the totally flustered guest who was making the cutest of blushes while, maybe, screaming in silent.

Is this what Pink had meant when he said he was cuter than the thought?

Glancing back to Pink, Lavender found that his brother’s desire for him to shut up was bigger than initially expected, and so his patience was going thinner by the second as he waited for an answer. He looked like he’d really burn Lavender’s toys if he said anymore inappropriate things.

Oh, goodie. Better play the next move well.

And thus, with a short sigh, he marked a truce ’’Alright, I give up’’ He said, voice heavy and picturing a pout that he couldn’t physically make. But, as Pink moved his hand away from his mouth, he caught his brother’s wrist and gave his palm a lick ''For now''

Top that with a sly smile and a wink and, ta-da!

Now he had a blue Blueberry, and a pink Pink!

If only his phone had battery.

''Welp, imam go start the engines'' He said as he walked towards the kitchen, leaving the blushing pair behind.

Pink, who had a long track record of experience with his brother’s antics, was the first one to recover. ''ARE YOU ALRIGHT?'' He said, acting as calm as possible so as not to alert Blue about the coiling magic in his pants, lingering with the possible threat of conjuring something despite the less than appropriate moment. Blueberry was too lost in thought to notice anything.

''uhh huh....?''

Blue mustered once he started to recover himself from the fantasies about the scandalous, and oh so tempting, offer that was now stuck in his mind.

''why do you ask?'' 

Surely Pink didn’t noticed how he zoned out, right? Or was his blush very visible? 

''OH, NOTHING PARTICULAR. ECXEPT THAT YOU LOOK VERY MUCH LIKE YOUR NAME SAKE RIGHT NOW'' 

So it was the blush, huh. Well, if he looked like a blueberry before then he’d surely make a night light jealous now. If the warmth ALL over his face was any indicator. 

Fully gathering his thoughts Blue made a move as to reassure Pink that he was only startled by Lavender’s forwardness when said skeleton began to blast the kitchen, and maybe the whole Underground, with some fast beat music that was actually rather nice. 

Until the lyrics, that were nothing if not lewd, came to play. 

Pink’s face crouched up in a similar manner as when one eats a lemon, seeds included, before standing up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen like a man with a mission. 

And, as Pink abandoned Blue to nag at his brother for snizzling through his promises, Blue reflected once more on the taller’s words and concluded that yes, this had not been a good idea. But perhaps it wasn’t a bad one either. 

Blue had to lose his virginity someday, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stars above! This is my first fanfic in AGES!!!! 
> 
> Anyways, hope you liked the clusterfuck I made.
> 
> If you wanna know more about the story feel free to ask.  
> I might actually start to write more often.


End file.
